Twas the shite before Christmas, when outside was froze,
not an inch wasn't covered, not even my nose.
My wellies were sloshing, with warm runny gunk,
and fast pace of walking, had coated my junk.
The fart I expected, arrived way too fast,
and brought with it solids, in one liquid blast.
The stench was amazing, and the crisp morning air,
was putrid with wretching, as I dashed home with care.
My eyes were both streaming, as I got to my door,
my backside was stinging, I could take it no more!
So learn from this lesson, and please tell a friend,
don't reheat old curry from before last weekend!
(by Chris Thomas - 15 Dec 2016)
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